A wild animal is on the loose here in Huai'an. It's abnormally tall with odd coloration. It wears clothes that are made in China but do not look Chinese. It sometimes responds to calls in its language. If you see it at the supermarket inspecting tofu with the provided tongs, you should clap and squawk in its face and remove the tongs from its hand, because wild animals certainly do not know how to handle tofu. Plus, there are obvious codes of conduct around here, evidenced by the hundreds of pounds of meat laying in open air being picked and prodded at by all passersby, and this creature does not understand public health measures or human etiquette.
Additionally, if it attempts to add money to its cell phone, you should look at it in repulsion, take the phone and press all the buttons, and then ignore the Chinese message that plays when you try to make a call and informs you the account is out of money. Just look at the other customers and hope they will remove the beast from your service counter. If it refuses to go away, wave in its face and turn your back. It will eventually get the message that it's not welcome.
Maybe the creature needs an attitude adjustment, but it just wasn't in the mood.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
finding the real world
Posts
3 comments:
Even Animals can have a tough day - maybe if you spit on the open air meat you'll look more like a local.
beef, chicken, cut fruit, gelatin, eggs...aren't these things better aka not nastily decomposing when they're in some sort of refrigeration?? i hear you, girl!!
this is absolutely HILARIOUS!!! I love that I can visualize the places you... I mean, the wild animal... are in. :)
Post a Comment